Dissolving Your Ego: Chapter 4 Of Master Your Mindset

[00:00:00] Welcome! You're listening to The GrowOrtho Podcast presented by HIP. This podcast is

[00:00:06] dedicated to orthodontists who want to stand strong in their market and be

[00:00:11] leaders in their community. Now on to today's show. Hey it's Luke at HIP and

[00:00:17] if you've been listening to The GrowOrtho Podcast maybe for weeks, months, or

[00:00:21] in some cases years, you know that we typically interview an industry expert

[00:00:26] whether it be someone working in the office or a consultant or just a

[00:00:32] strategic partner for orthodontists. Well we're gonna change things up just a bit

[00:00:37] and this year we've actually released four books and so we're gonna release

[00:00:42] every audiobook basically a chapter for each episode. Listen, enjoy and let

[00:00:48] us know what you find valuable and implement and what works well in your

[00:00:53] office. Thanks so much for supporting HIP and we hope you enjoy all these

[00:00:57] episodes on the Practice Growth series. Chapter 4, dissolving your ego. Typically

[00:01:06] the reason practices don't grow and not just in orthodontics is the business

[00:01:11] owner getting in the way of growth. Dr. Ben Fishbine.

[00:01:17] Non-In, a Japanese master during the Meiji era, received a university

[00:01:22] professor who came to inquire about Zen. Non-In served tea, he poured his

[00:01:29] visitors cup full and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the

[00:01:34] overflow until he could no longer restrain himself.

[00:01:37] It is over full no more will go in, he exclaimed. Like this cup Non-In

[00:01:43] said, you are full of opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless

[00:01:49] you first empty your cup? One of the main reasons that most people never

[00:01:54] discover their X factor is ego. The ego is a term used in psychology to refer

[00:02:00] to the part of the self responsible for a person's sense of self-esteem and

[00:02:04] self-importance. It is part of the self that strives for success, power and

[00:02:10] recognition and it is often associated with feelings of pride and self-importance.

[00:02:14] The ego is a crucial part of the psyche as it helps us to navigate the social

[00:02:19] world and form relationships with others. However, an overdeveloped ego can

[00:02:24] lead to problems such as arrogance and entitlement which can be detrimental

[00:02:29] to one's relationships and overall well-being. One of the main problems

[00:02:33] that most people experience is the fact that they let their egos run

[00:02:37] their emotions and their decisions. They don't interact with their ego

[00:02:41] consciously and develop it in alignment with the person that they want to be.

[00:02:45] Because of this, they may feel that their dreams are unattainable or that

[00:02:51] others who accomplish great things have something special they lack.

[00:02:56] The ego explained. The ego is often described as the I or me a person

[00:03:02] experiences and identifies with. The ego is a crucial aspect of a

[00:03:06] person's identity and helps to mediate between the demands of the outside

[00:03:10] world and the individual's desires and needs. It is thought to be developed

[00:03:15] during early childhood as a way for a person to navigate the complex,

[00:03:18] social and psychological environment in which they find themselves.

[00:03:22] The ego helps a person to protect themselves from the demands

[00:03:25] and expectations of others as well as to maintain a sense of self-worth

[00:03:28] and self-esteem.

[00:03:31] The ego is not necessarily a negative aspect of a person's psyche.

[00:03:35] Still, it can become unhealthy if it becomes overly dominant or leads a

[00:03:39] person to act selfishly or narcissistically. It is important for a

[00:03:44] person to be aware of their ego and to strive for a healthy balance

[00:03:47] between their ego and their sense of empathy and connection to others.

[00:03:52] We have the power to shape our ego when we observe it,

[00:03:55] interact with it consciously and direct how it defines who we are.

[00:03:59] This is why a mourning formula keeps us focused on our X factor

[00:04:03] and the legacy we want to leave. We want the ego aligned with our

[00:04:07] wants and desires, not opposing them.

[00:04:11] I had this one interaction with an orthodontist who left an associate

[00:04:14] position at a thriving practice to start her own. She wanted to hire us

[00:04:18] to do some marketing and we were on a discovery call to see if we

[00:04:21] could be a fit for partnering with them.

[00:04:24] This doctor had read our very first book, The Ultimate Practice,

[00:04:28] but medical school forgot to teach you about building the life

[00:04:31] of your dreams. She said, there's some good stuff in there,

[00:04:35] but I'm just going to be honest with you because that's how I am.

[00:04:39] I was really offended by chapter 8. You suck at business.

[00:04:43] You should consider rewriting it because I feel like I don't suck at business.

[00:04:48] I already had some red flags about entering a business relationship with

[00:04:51] this doctor, but I decided to explore the possibility a little further.

[00:04:56] So I said, it's interesting that you feel that way.

[00:05:00] Can you tell me how you know you don't suck at business?

[00:05:03] Well, she said she graduated at the top of her class

[00:05:07] and did not think business was that complicated.

[00:05:10] She said, I'm an orthodontist. I can figure it out.

[00:05:15] Unfortunately, many doctors we've come across seem to think this way.

[00:05:19] They figured that just because they did one thing well

[00:05:22] and were a straight A student, they can do everything else the same way.

[00:05:25] Well, maybe, maybe not. I've worked with hundreds of orthodontists

[00:05:33] and spoken with over a thousand practitioners in multiple medical specialties

[00:05:38] and less than 5% are good at business. I'm not saying that some

[00:05:42] are not doing very well in business. Let me clarify,

[00:05:46] I have the most respect for a doctor who recognizes what they are good at

[00:05:50] and gets help with the things that are not in their wheelhouse

[00:05:53] because even if you are in that percentile of doctors who can run a business,

[00:05:57] is that why you spent over a decade in school?

[00:06:02] Put that ego aside. What's the best use of an orthodontist's time?

[00:06:09] If you ask Dr. Fishbine, it's not to sit around and think about the business all day,

[00:06:13] doing payroll, hiring, and firing, among other things.

[00:06:18] He believes that orthodontists generate the most money when they are chair side,

[00:06:22] seeing patients. You can dream about other things when you're not in the office.

[00:06:28] Dr. Ernie McDowell, CEO of All Smiles Orthodontics shares the same sentiment.

[00:06:33] He explains, when I'm at the practice, I work for Janet, the COO of All Smiles.

[00:06:40] Janet runs the business because I went to school to be an orthodontist.

[00:06:44] I didn't go to school to be a business owner.

[00:06:47] When you start your own practice, you become a business owner which creates an

[00:06:51] identity crisis. You have to be the orthodontist, but you also have to manage the business.

[00:06:58] The challenge becomes doing both well, and that's what most people can't figure out.

[00:07:03] A lot of it comes down to the ego getting in the way of them being able to move forward

[00:07:07] in the best way to enjoy seeing patients and build a thriving business.

[00:07:12] In Chapter 8, we'll discuss the entrepreneurial myth, e-myth,

[00:07:16] which describes business owner's identity crises.

[00:07:19] You'll also discover the solution to make your business become whatever you desire,

[00:07:23] but first, you must deal with your ego.

[00:07:26] So, I asked this doctor if it's really that easy, why haven't you done it before now?

[00:07:33] The whole point of that chapter is to show doctors that if they put their egos and feelings

[00:07:37] aside, they would realize what's missing and what they don't understand about business,

[00:07:42] so they could get the proper structure in place. That's the whole reason I wrote the book.

[00:07:46] When you think you know everything, you probably won't go very far.

[00:07:52] Building a thriving business is faster and easier when you get out of your way and ask

[00:07:55] for the right help. Most people do suck at business. That's why most small businesses fail,

[00:08:02] and most orthodontists can't grow beyond the industry average of 1.2 million in production.

[00:08:08] I had this one client who finally realized she had to release the reins and get our help

[00:08:13] to grow. She was a great practitioner and had been frustrated for years to the point

[00:08:18] where she was considering other career options. Until she gave us the login to access her systems

[00:08:24] remotely, she was the only person assigning passwords and handling menial administrative tasks.

[00:08:31] I was watching the webcam in her TC room and saw her getting a paste up from their

[00:08:35] accounting software for her so-called office manager to show her that a particular staff

[00:08:40] member did get paid. What the heck is she doing handling payroll?

[00:08:46] As long as she is holding on to control and micromanaging, she can't assume her most profitable

[00:08:51] role as CEO and orthodontist. Give yourself some perspective. If most orthodontists and

[00:08:58] all business owners for that matter would just say, hey, I don't know everything,

[00:09:04] life would be so much happier and more profitable. One of the biggest mistakes

[00:09:09] business people make is trying to be the movie's star. They're not the star of the movie,

[00:09:14] they're patient is. You need to guide them through their journey and let them win.

[00:09:20] Dr. Castilla said it best. Business owners need to be more like Yoda in Star Wars,

[00:09:27] guiding their clients to success and helping them win. Many business owners think they deserve

[00:09:32] to make a lot of money just because of their position when in fact this is not the case.

[00:09:37] Nobody owes you anything. It was your choice to go to school for that long,

[00:09:41] it was your choice to invest money and start a practice. You'll never get anywhere if you're

[00:09:46] always thinking about what you think you deserve. Businesses offer services. You should be

[00:09:52] thinking about how you can best provide value to your client and serve them. Helping them

[00:09:58] will help you grow. They're the main character, not you. The more you understand this and

[00:10:05] dissolve your ego, letting go of what you think you know, the easier it'll be to make decisions

[00:10:10] that will benefit you in the long run. Here's the conversation in my head and why I seek help from

[00:10:16] mentors for my own business. Okay, there's one Buffett and then there's me. That's a massive

[00:10:23] gap but I will take the opportunity to learn from anyone on the path ahead of me. If someone

[00:10:29] is getting way better results with less effort, making more money in less time or wowing

[00:10:33] customers in a way I don't, then obviously I suck at business compared to them, right?

[00:10:39] That's why I'm always looking at what others are doing to achieve success,

[00:10:43] throwing away my systems and replacing them with theirs.

[00:10:47] I don't see any point in defending what I'm doing when clearly there's a better way.

[00:10:51] I am grateful for the help I receive from experts who know how to do what I am doing

[00:10:55] better than I do. This mindset keeps me hitting my targets year after year.

[00:11:00] Maybe you've just started your practice and that's why you're not growing as well as the most

[00:11:04] thriving practices. Maybe you're stuck in the hamster wheel like most doctors,

[00:11:09] managing their practice rather than being the CEO. You just need to put your ego aside,

[00:11:14] admit that you don't know everything and partner with the experts who do know.

[00:11:19] That way you can build the right foundation so your business is not sitting on the shaky

[00:11:23] sand. I just feel like most people don't do that. As I have said,

[00:11:29] this phenomenon is not limited to orthodontists and to medical specialists.

[00:11:34] If you've ever watched the show The Prophet which airs on CNBC,

[00:11:37] you'll see plenty of examples of business owners who just can't get past their egos

[00:11:41] and receive not just mentorship but actual help from a highly successful businessman and investor.

[00:11:48] Marcus Limones, the host, is the CEO and chairman of Camping World,

[00:11:52] a company that sells recreational vehicles and camping gear.

[00:11:55] On the show, Limones travels around the country to help small businesses in need.

[00:11:59] He offers to invest his own money in the businesses in exchange for a percentage of ownership

[00:12:04] and he works with the owners to help turn the businesses around and make them more profitable.

[00:12:09] Limones uses his expertise in business and his personal insights to help businesses overcome

[00:12:14] challenges and succeed. Limones, who's net worth is approximately $500 million,

[00:12:19] is also involved in several other business ventures.

[00:12:22] Including a boutique hotel chain, a home improvement store and a luxury pet hotel.

[00:12:28] He's also an active investor and has invested in various industries including real estate,

[00:12:32] manufacturing and retail. So these floundering business owners have the great

[00:12:37] fortune of not just receiving advice or mentorship from a guy with a proven track

[00:12:41] record of success. On top of all that, Limones takes on financial risk and becomes

[00:12:47] a shareholder in their company. He's a t-shirt business. He'll leverage all his connections and

[00:12:56] design, printmaking and distribution and merge systems and processes to improve efficiency

[00:13:01] and production while lowering costs. He'll provide the method and the means to make

[00:13:05] improvements that could save them poor times their costs, making recapturing the income

[00:13:11] a no-brainer. Half the time, the business owners reject everything he says and tell

[00:13:16] him to leave their business. They want to back out of a deal with a high probability of succeeding.

[00:13:22] They get so angry with him and accuse him of trying to change things,

[00:13:25] pushing them into doing something they don't want to do

[00:13:28] and not understanding them or their business, among other accusations.

[00:13:34] Fortunately, in many cases, Limones has been able to help many of these businesses succeed

[00:13:38] and turn their fortunes around. This problem transcends every business.

[00:13:44] People just can't admit that they don't know everything and cannot grow the business.

[00:13:49] They may never be able to figure it out. They can't admit that working in an associate or

[00:13:54] corporate job for two, four or six years isn't what they should be doing. It's almost like they

[00:14:00] can't face it. So how do you decide to put your ego aside and admit these things to build

[00:14:05] the confidence to create what you want? Getting out of your way is the first step.

[00:14:09] Now, you may think that the individuals we discussed in the last chapter have enormous egos

[00:14:16] and you would not be wrong in saying so. The distinction I would like to make is that because

[00:14:20] they uncovered and harnessed their ex-factor to achieve greatness, they had to interact with

[00:14:25] and build their ego to align with their goals. They sought out the best mentors and put in

[00:14:31] the countless hours of work necessary to tell their egos to get out of the way

[00:14:35] so that they could build the confidence and skill to become the best in their chosen field.

[00:14:42] Being willing to do the work. People say they have goals, whether wanting a family,

[00:14:48] a thriving business or doing X, Y and Z. Sadly, most people never follow through.

[00:14:54] They never take a step back and think, if I want that, here's the list of things

[00:14:58] I'll have to do to get there. That and the fact that it will take time.

[00:15:03] We're not taught to think that way for whatever reason, so people just keep waking up and doing

[00:15:07] the same thing day after day, never asking what the steps they need to start taking today may be.

[00:15:15] You've got to break that habit and say, okay, I have this goal and I want it for these reasons.

[00:15:22] How do we work backward from that so I can take the necessary daily actions to make it real?

[00:15:27] You break it down like an equation and you go to work. You put your ego aside,

[00:15:34] keep working and continue growing. And it could take four years. It could take a year

[00:15:41] or it could take 10 years. But if you keep doing it, continue growing and periodically get closer

[00:15:47] then one day you will see your dream take shape. When we see pictures of Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos,

[00:15:54] we just think that they were always that successful. But we never think of the time that lapsed between

[00:16:00] them having their idea and seeing it come to fruition. It was not glamorous when they lived

[00:16:05] in a closet working nonstop for five years or more. That's the problem. People realize

[00:16:12] it's not glitz and glamour. After a month, they just want to throw on the towel. They say,

[00:16:18] oh well, I can't do this. All the real people keep doing the work.

[00:16:24] How to get the ego in check? It's all about being honest about where your current capabilities lie

[00:16:30] and where you have a proven track record. You have to acknowledge that there are things that

[00:16:36] other people can do better than you can and that seeking their assistance is okay.

[00:16:41] It's letting yourself off the hook to return to what you're good at and leaving the rest

[00:16:45] to someone with the expertise. You'll be way happier and make a lot more money.

[00:16:51] I'm not saying you can't figure it out or do it yourself. You're reading this book and chapter

[00:16:56] for a reason. There are millions of other people in your situation today. All you need to do to

[00:17:02] grow is put your ego aside and reverse engineer how you will reach your destination and put your

[00:17:09] head down and do the work. Partnering with the people you can trust to help you grow

[00:17:14] and hiring the people who are good at what you're not will set you free.

[00:17:18] Our organizational chart is in this series three prior books. It's worked in the top producing

[00:17:24] offices in the country and it will work in yours. Just be honest with yourself and admit that you

[00:17:30] need these partners and team members so you can stay in your lane. Being an orthodontist,

[00:17:36] seeing patients, putting on braces and protecting your time is best for your team,

[00:17:42] the practice, your family and yourself. You don't have to prove to anybody that you are a

[00:17:46] fantastic CEO or business owner. You just need to be a good orthodontist.

[00:17:52] We signed a contract with this one orthodontist. If we had educated him more before signing up

[00:17:57] with us, we could have helped him shift his mindset. He started reading our books and a week

[00:18:02] and a half later he texted us and said that we had conflicting processes. He had his processes

[00:18:09] and was not willing to change anything. He had a young practice doing about a million in production

[00:18:15] and wanted help with marketing to grow his business. He decided that we were not good partners.

[00:18:20] I told him that was fine and we refunded him. We could have done a better job with our sales

[00:18:25] process and we have learned from this experience and adapted our processes. If he had stepped

[00:18:31] back and looked at the situation objectively, he could have asked himself, who do you think

[00:18:37] has it more figured out? The guy with the newer practice who has barely done industry average

[00:18:42] or the people who have worked with hundreds of practices, including the most prominent

[00:18:46] eight-figure practices across the board and the fastest growing startups. He let his ego get in

[00:18:52] the way and if we were to dig deep, the real reason was that he was scared. It's a defense

[00:18:58] mechanism. When people are willing to go there, I'll ask them, where else has this behavior

[00:19:04] shown up and kept you from growing? Because you're doing it again and returning to your comfort zone.

[00:19:12] Just let it go. None in. The Zen master from the beginning of the chapter told the university

[00:19:19] professor that if he did not empty his cup, he'd have no room to put anything new in it.

[00:19:25] When we hold on to the same old way of thinking, we cut ourselves off from the

[00:19:29] experience of new and wonderful possibilities. It's exhausting to try and control everything,

[00:19:36] dedicating your energy to our area of mastery and letting go of all the rest is liberating.

[00:19:42] For me, letting go comes with the realization that I can't help everyone. Some people just

[00:19:48] aren't willing to let go of their egos and let someone else run the show. I've come to terms

[00:19:52] with that and realized that it's just better not to work with those individuals.

[00:19:57] So many people out there have an open mind and are willing to put their egos aside for the greater

[00:20:02] good of their practice. Those are my people. And you can finally allow yourself to do that,

[00:20:07] good things will come to you, and your X factor will begin to shine.

[00:20:12] In the next chapter, we will discover another obstacle holding you back from true growth,

[00:20:17] which has to do with the bright and shiny things in life.

[00:20:20] Thanks for listening. If you'd like to learn more about HIP or any of the topics in this episode,

[00:20:28] send an email to hello at hipcreativeinc.com that's hello at hipcreativeinc.com

[00:20:37] or jump over to our website at hip.agency.